Ashes
by andallthat
Summary: "He was dying. Ayumi, Genta, and Mitsuhiko were crying. And what else did he have to lose, really?" Written for Poirot Café Forum's Super Short Contest #4 - Fear.


So, I admit I'm not entirely sure as to whether or not this fully meets the requirements for the competition, but it certainly correlates with 'fear' in my mind so woops - I'm counting it. This was an idea that I've legitimately had for years - and I do mean/years/ - and this contest finally forced me into writing it down. Will I add more on to it later? Potentially. But unfortunately those years of the idea running circles in my head only left me with a single scene and not much background info. Thus, it could certainly use to be fleshed out more than the max word limit gave me room for, but I think it's decent enough as it stands. And I decidedly didn't have the words for that, since Open Office has me clocking this at exactly 1000 words. Please tell me what you think. I imagine my writing style and word limits don't mesh very well.

That being said, this fandom needs more fanfiction about the more minor characters, just sayin'. I hope to remedy this, if only just the slightest bit. Enjoy?

Warnings for use of curse words and (potentially) graphic depictions associated with Conan or Haibara's transformations.

* * *

His body was burning.

"Conan-kun!"

Ayumi's cries of helplessness fell on deaf ears. Conan could only barely make out all of the children calling out his name.

This was his fault.

It was all his fault.

They shouldn't have gotten mixed up in this.

There was a body on his right, latching onto him.

It had to be Ayumi. He needed to tell her to get away, to get off. She was just going to hurt herself being so close to him, but his feeble attempt at speaking was met with another sharp stab of pain radiating from his heart.

He screamed.

She held onto him tighter, scared and sobbing his name.

Conan didn't know what to say to convince her to let him go. He could feel his temperature rising and this was not good, not good in the slightest, because the kids were here and the only barrier he had between them was a blanket that Vermouth had tossed over him when he'd been locked back inside the room.

His heart burst inside his chest again, feeling all for the world like a heart attack, and the nausea and heat combined nearly made Conan pass out.

"Stay awake, Edogawa-kun."

Another presence was at his side and he squeezed one eye open to be greeted with a blurry form of Haibara staring back at him.

That's right. She was here too, wasn't she? She could help keep the kids calm.

Staying awake was going to be another matter entirely. But he nodded regardless, trying anyway.

"Tell me what she gave you."

And wasn't it hard for Conan not to laugh at that. He could understand why she was asking the question. She knew the signs and the symptoms, and he was displaying all of them. But as much as he would have hoped for it, it wasn't what she thought.

He was _dying._

Again.

And there was no way in hell that this was any less painful than the first time. The only difference was that now he was _actually_ going to die. There were no rare side effects for him to luck out on anymore. Regressing ten more years of age meant he'd be dead.

But he said it anyway. He was dying. Ayumi, Genta, and Mitsuhiko were crying. And what else did he have to lose, really? Better not to leave her wondering.

"A... APTX 4869."

Conan could see the moment the full meaning of that statement became clear. Her eyes widened. He let out a sore laugh that was cut off by coughing and pain.

Just like him, she'd been holding onto the hope that what Vermouth had fed him was an antidote, or even something similar to the _baiju_ that he'd been accidentally given by Hattori. But he'd seen the pill, and that hope had only been dashed.

It was only at Haibara's prying that Ayumi finally loosened her grip and let go of him completely. Surprisingly, Genta and Mitsuhiko had been fairly quiet past the initial cries of his name, but looking over Conan saw what could only be described as utter shock. They only blinked out of their daze when Haibara led Ayumi over to them, distracting the boys.

Mitsuhiko was the first one to snap out of it, reaching out to Ayumi in a consoling gesture.

"It- it's going to be alright, Ayumi-chan. Conan-kun with be fine, won't you, Conan-kun?"

His voice was shaking in a glimmer of hope, but Conan couldn't return the sentiment. He could feel the sensation of his skin melting off his bones. Smoke was rising up, and it wouldn't be long now.

For the most part, Conan felt regret. Regret at having dragged these children into this mess without meaning to. Regret at not having taken the Black Organization down, or even doing anything substantial to dismantle it. Regret at not telling Ran, so that he could have spent his last days with her just being _himself._ And he hadn't gotten to be himself in so long..

But he couldn't break his heart over it now. She'd been given the best protection he could offer in her being unaware. He could only hope that it would be enough to keep her safe.

And at the very, very bottom of his heart, Conan could admit – and only would because of everything that had happened – that he was terrified.

Just like he had been the last time, dizzy and in pain and _knowing_ (because it had been what he'd known at the time) that he was going to die.

He was scared. And he didn't want to die.

But fate makes its own decisions.

One last sharp pain travelling up his spine and Conan was screaming, body convulsing among the steam that rose up from it, and his vision faded to black.

Haibara was shocked still, torn between staring at the spot where Conan had been – now shrouded amongst the steam – and shielding Ayumi and the others from the sight before them. They didn't need to see this. They were too young. They didn't deserve to have their innocence shattered by the sight of their friend lying dead right before them.

"Don't look," she whispered, keeping the boys back even as they tried to press forward, "Don't look." And it was a desperate plea, to them and herself, because she didn't want to admit that she'd just caused the death of her friend.

The boy who'd done everything he had to protect her even after all the evil that she'd done.

But as the smoke cleared the two boys gasped, but not in horror. And she forced herself to turn, as much as she didn't want to, to the body lying behind her.

The sight sent a chill down her spine.

Right where Edogawa-kun's body should be, was the unconscious form of Kudo Shin'ichi.

She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. Mitsuhiko stammered.

"Shin'ichi...-niisan?"


End file.
